16 February 2016

The Outside Looking In

I have spent my entire life being unheard when I speak, unseen while surround by many, and the source of annoyance to others. I have mastered the art of reading subtle body language. The roll of one's eys, the silence that accompanies certain conversations and topics, the heavy sighs, leaving the area I am in, the side eye that one person will give another. I may be annoying to you but I am not stupid, deaf or blind.  And while your subtle nuances will always hit with a certain sting to my heart, I want you to know that your venom only makes me stronger. I refuse to allow your opinion of me to shape my own identity. And maybe rather than judging you should listen. Maybe just maybe, there is something deeper in my annoying superficial words. I hope you know your actions don't weaken me, but in fact weaken you. You become placed in a distant branch on the outside of my life. Enjoy you perch on the outside tree looking through the window, because you have broken my trust and no longer will you be allowed through my door. I have no time games.