09 November 2012

{A Moment In Time}

*knock knock, knock knock*
Come in! Come in Daddy, come in!

It is now 9:45pm. Bedtime was at 7:30pm, and here we are 2 hours and 15 minutes later and Kaydence is no more asleep than she was 2 hours ago. Kev and I are both tired, past the point of frustration and more than ready to finally relax. 

*knock knock, knock knock*
Daddy, where are you daddy? Daddy I can not see you daddy!

I glance over to Kevin, signaling to him that I've got it this time. I immediately put on my serious face and head up the stairs more than prepared to turn on my stern mama voice, and tell her to get her little butt back in that bed right now.

but of course that is not the way it played out.

The minute I open the door and cross the threshold into her room, I hear the sweetest little voice exclaim...

Mama, I just don't want to be scared anymore!
Will you please cuddle with me, Mama!

My mama heart immediately turned to jello. I picked up my sweet little girl and made a pallet of blankets and pillows on the floor. I cuddled up next to her; Holding her tightly, kissing her sweetly and singing softly in her ear, until we both fell asleep.

We marvel at our children's firsts. Documenting every detail; their first step, their first tooth, their first word. But we never really think about their lasts. The last time Kaydence called her favorite stuffed animal "Wa Wa" because she wasn't able to pronounce Violet yet. The last time she indicated she was hungry by mouthing "Nom Nom" instead of "Mommy can you get me some food." The defining moment when her eyes changed from deep blue to vibrant brown. Someday Kaydence is just going to want me to go away. At some point, she isn't going to want me to sing her a bedtime song or kiss her goodnight. And at that moment I will be left, desperately grasping for the memory of the last time I cuddled with my little girl. A time when she was still small enough to fit in my arms and innocent enough to believe that I could kiss her pain away. The "last" moments are flying by. They are fading quickly and before we know it they are going to be a distant, fuzzy memory with no clear, defining point of when they vanished.

So as I laid there with my angel in in my arms, I tried to take in every detail of this one simple moment. The way her hair smelled, the sound of her deep steady breathing, and the the way her smooth baby soft skin felt against mine. I held onto this brief period of time trying to reinforce the memory; in hopes that I can recall its every detail 10 years from now. She relaxed, cuddled close, melted into my arms, and quickly fell asleep. In her Mama's arms she was safe from her 2 year old fears. At that moment in time I was her hero, and she will forever and always be my little princess.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! I am full of tears! I just started thinking of my last time's with Kiki and Kiegh...:(( They grow so very fast and life is happening at the same time so the lasts are so easy to miss....